# Son, when you participate in sporting events,
# it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how drunk you get.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl

// Windows sucks. (Oh, you didn’t know that… Well, trust me
// it does!). It is not documented in the help what
// LoadString returns but it seems that if the text doesn’t
// fit into the buffer LoadString returns 0.
// Ok. Windows NT sucks more. If the string can’t fit into
// the buffer NT returns ERROR_RESOURCE_NAME_NOT_FOUND. Not
// insufficient buffer.
//
// AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
//

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Kerberos Telnet
Programming language: C++

/* Please please PPLLEEAASSEE don’t look past this line – it
   is SO ugly, but I am much too lazy to change this. Just
   run the program, don’t read the code :-). */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: PHP

# Hello… you wouldn’t have seen a lost comment around here,
# would you? :-| He’s my soon, you know? :-| I’ve been
# looking for him for some time now… He’s small, just about
# two lines long… :-| If you see him, could you please
# tell me? Thank you :-|

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl

An “auto save” function for ASCII format data files. (This can save your butt when your wife logs you out without asking. I should have never given her an account … she has too many friends with e-mail access. :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl