# Now bring out-of-date preferences back up to speed
# What a nice developer I am, taking care of the
# behind-the-times users. :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: PilotManager
Programming language: Perl

/*
Most of this code was written while watching the Marlins sweep the Giants in the 1997 National League Playoffs – no Braves fans allowed to use this code (just kidding :-).

I realize that if I wanted to be true to the perl tradition, the only comment in this file would be something like:

…they shuffled back towards the rear of the line. ‘No, not at the rear!’ the slave-driver shouted. ‘Three files up. And stay there…

However, I really needed to violate that tradition just so I could keep track of what happens myself, not to mention some poor fool trying to understand this years from now :-).
*/

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Perl Source
Programming language: C

/*
uhhh…. i’ve commented this out. it was a great pervertion,
i know, but it could result in broken packets, and that’s
more f*cking than a simply crash. Relax.
*/

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: QEcho
Programming language: C

/*
 * It’s someone else’s. Let our fingers
 * do the walking. (Why the fuck do they call it
 * the “yellow pages” anyway. They’re white pages
 * dammit! If they were YELLOW pages, we could
 * say ypmatch “Automobile, Dealers, Retail”, and
 * things like that !).
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Utah Raster Toolkit
Programming language: C

// OK, Carl, here it is. Read it and weep. Heheheh.
// You’re probably the only one who will notice this
// in here. :-)

return [[self class] newWithString:”Kitchen Sink”];

// Yes, you’ve found the easter egg. Sorry, I guess it’s too
// late. Better get some sleep…

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: MiscString
Programming language: C

# Thank goodness for AutoLoader, huh?
# Perhaps we’ll finally use it soon.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net-AIM
Programming language: Perl

# I moved this part further down as an Obsessive Efficiency
# Initiative. It shouldn’t be a problem if I do _parse right…
# … but those are famous last words, eh?

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net-AIM
Programming language: Perl

# OK, once you’ve passed the point where caffeine no longer
# has any discernible effect on any part of your body but
# your bladder, it’s time to sleep.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net-AIM
Programming language: Perl

/*
 * Uh oh. Still here. Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed
 * to be an EARTH-shattering kaboom!
 *
 * Oh well, log the failure and error out.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Apache
Programming language: C

/* opendir(), readdir(), closedir() for those systems which don’t have them. If anyone ever uses this code let me know so I can open a bottle of champagne or something */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: HPACK
Programming language: C

“Merry Christmas and a Happy Armageddon” release. This’ll probably be the last Aptitude release before the year 2000. Assuming that civilization has not collapsed, expect to see another version early in the new year. (hopefully before potato freezes ;-) ) If not, I guess I’ll have to start porting it to the abacus platform..

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: aptitude
Programming language: C++

/*JS File: ../js/data/export/flash.js*/
/**
 * @author antimatter15
 *
 * Wow! Flash! isn’t it all about this these days? Oh wait.
 * wrong version. Who cares? Flash is everwhere. It may suck
 * in some ways (cross-platformness) but its better than the
 * competition (*cough* silverlight *cough*)
 *
 * This probably doesn’t make much sense. I can’t even make
 * sense of this. But IDK. this is just another comment on
 * comments, which is now a commment on commments on comments
 * because meta-thinking is good, metacommenting should also
 * be good.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: AJAX Animator
Programming language: JavaScript

# Replaced instances of hardcoded century (19) with a
# variable. We need to know the current century in cases
# where it is not provided and it is assumed to be the
# current century. Someday I need to figure out how to
# determine the current century, but I have a couple of
# years to do it. :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: CBB – The Check Book Balancer
Programming language: TCL

/**
 * Burst is a method for drawing star bursts. If you’ve ever
 * worked with an advertising department, you know what
 * they are ;-) Clients tend to want them, Developers tend to
 * hate them…
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Draw
Programming language: ActionScript

/* this code is only here as a curiousity… mainly, where the
   f*ck did SONIC_BUS_SCALE come from, and what was it
   supposed to do? the normal allocation works great for
   32 bit stuffs… */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: C

# the refresh engine depends on later tweets having higher
# id numbers. Obvious, don’t change this if you know what’s
# good for you, ya twerps, or I will poison all of yer
# kitties. *pats my Burmese, who purrs*

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: TTYtter
Programming language: Perl

# These need to be made private, and no
# one needs to touch them ever except
# for self.process(). *EVER* I mean it.
# don’t f*cking touch them you little
# pissass. Not now, not never. Don’t.
# Just stop it. I’m serious.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: 3sakit
Programming language: Python

# I was thinking… If they invented comments, why not use
# them? So there you go, here’s a comment. And you know what?
# I actually like comments. Yeah, that’s it. Much better,
# fills in some empty spaces like this. What could have been
# here without these comments. ah?
#
# Shit, I’ve nothing left to say… Ah, well. See ya in the
# next version. :)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: File::Mode
Programming language: Perl

/* This is a gross hack to solve a problem in linux kernels
 * 2.1.85 and above. Please, children, do not try this at
 * home, and if you ever see anything like it, please
 * inform the Gross Hack Police immediately
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Adaptec Aic7xxx driver
Programming language: C

Danke an Tobias J. für dieses code candy

/* Empty entity class used by derived servlets not managing
 * any entities. */
protected static class EmptyEntity extends EntityBase
{
  @Override public Long getId() { return null; }
  @Override public String toString() { return “OH MY GOD!”; }
  @Override public String toStringShort() { return “OMG!”; }
}

/* This effect and the next are handled like vibrato.
 * I’m a bit tired, so it begins to be ugly, sorry…
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: xsoundtrack
Programming language: C

// One thing I cannot stand is f*cking variables that
// are cryptic. I gotta lay off the dope when I code, shit!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: sapphire
Programming language: C++

// This function here causes those goddamn BadWindow errors.
// If I see another one of those I will f*cking scream!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: sapphire
Programming language: C++

# I should comment that I also like pink, but don’t
# tell anybody.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl

# If you understand how these functions work, let me know.
# I haven’t got the slighest idea anymore :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Filerunner
Programming language: Shell