// Windows sucks. (Oh, you didn’t know that… Well, trust me
// it does!). It is not documented in the help what
// LoadString returns but it seems that if the text doesn’t
// fit into the buffer LoadString returns 0.
// Ok. Windows NT sucks more. If the string can’t fit into
// the buffer NT returns ERROR_RESOURCE_NAME_NOT_FOUND. Not
// insufficient buffer.
//
// AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
//

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Kerberos Telnet
Programming language: C++

//IE’s textRange and selection object is woefully inadequate,
//which means this fancy stuff is gecko only sorry :-|
//Die Bill, Die. (IE supports it somewhat nativly though)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Xinha
Programming language: JavaScript

/* attempt to create a new thread to wait for activity,
 * this is because windows pipes are crap and doing a Wait on
 * them fails. so us poor programmers have to jump through
 * lots of hoops just to make Bills crap usable, and what
 * really hurts is that after doing so every non-programmer
 * thinks Bills stuff is wonderful!
 * Sometimes the world sucks.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: JASSPA MicroEmacs
Programming language: C

/* Just to be F*CKING AKWARD, windows fister… err i
 * mean vista… seperates the nameservers with spaces instead.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: InspIRCd
Programming language: C++

/*
argh! HOLY SHIT! this crap works only until the 2nd line break. Hey IE developers! no insulting, but did you code IE while you were on drugs?
*/

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: jQuery plugin: fieldSelection
Programming language: JavaScript

// because of IE SHIT i have to build a log object which is
// passed into a function in the bottom frame.
// this function will take care of printing it
// I guess i can’t create an element in the topframe
// which is inserted in the bottomframe??
// LAME LAME LAME LAME!!! Because according to the
// IE-security it’s possible, if the frames are in
// the same domain, which they are!!!!!!!!! F*CK YOU
// BILL GATES, because of you all the nice work
// I do has to be doubledoubledouble coded..

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: hippo cms
Programming language: JavaScript

/* Jeezus Christ! I have no idea why Microsoft’s file
* does NOT define the !!!STANDARD C!!! symbol PATH_MAX!
* F*cking nonstandard piece of sh*t. */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: httpxtran
Programming language: C

// Oh, did I mention that I hate Microsoft for doing this
// to me?

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mozilla
Programming language: C++

// Note the construct with strptr. You wouldn’t believe what
// a bunch of f*cking morons those guys at Microsoft are!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: uCON64
Programming language: C

// Whaaaaa! I wanted to name this method GetClassInfo, but
// nooo, some of Microsoft devstudio’s headers #defines
// GetClassInfo to GetClassInfoA so I can’t, those $%#@^!
// bastards!!! What gives them the right to do that?

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mozilla
Programming language: C++

# Yes, IE people should be put in jail.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Laconica
Programming language: PHP

# tolerate Silly Billy’s file system conventions
my $provider = Template::Provider->new({
  DELIMITER => ‘ ‘,
  INCLUDE_PATH => ‘C:/HERE/NOW D:/THERE/THEN’,
});
# better solution: install Linux! :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Template Toolkit
Programming language: Perl

# gnat: no f*cking microsoft products, thanks :)
# ^Pudge: what about non-f*cking MS products? i hear MS Bob
# is a virgin.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net::IRC
Programming language: Perl

# I’ve been a bit stressed recently and I haven’t been
# sleeping properly, and now I’ve lost an hour in bed due to
# British Summer Time. So I’m happy just to take it on trust
# for now.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl

vielen Dank an Ulf K. der mir folgendes Code Candie geschickt hat.

// argh – MS Office sucks. Using big letters in the first
// column (“ID” instead of “id”) brings Excel 2007 to dance
// around “your csv-data format is not correct … na na na”
// using more than 1 hour to find this “problem”, because
// MS Excel can´t handle big letters in the first row as
// first value! What a poor software…

Hiermit verabschiede ich mich in zwei Wochen (hoffentlich sehr sonnigen) Urlaub. Diese Zeit wird auch größtenteils internetfrei sein, weswegen hier keine neuen Code Candies von mir gebloggt werden.

; AFTER DISASSEMBLY I have this impression:
;
; This is what Bill Gates said… when Win95 was going to be
; released:
;
; “Gates: OK, then we’re ready to press the CD’s and start
; shipping out this new load of shit, but of course nobody
; will notice… harr harr.
; Employee: Hey, Mr. Gates what about the Boot Sector?? We
; haven’t written the FAT32 support routines there yet…
; Gates: Ah, that’s right… anybody?? We have just 45 minutes…
; Employee #2: Well, I think I can hack some shit together…
; Gates: Fine, go for it… remember you have only 44 minutes…
; Employee #2: I think I can do it.
; Gates: Fine, then I’ll just go home… We’ve made it!!”
;
; FUNNY?
;
; There is some really strange code in this boot record….
;
; I bet Bill Gates hired some crazy mother f*cker to write
; this shit. It seems like he had really tried to make the
; code fit within one sector. But when it didn’t hid just
; decided to use three instead…
;
; This is a typical microsoft solution, they mix stupid 8086
; code… with cheap solutions and then suddenly they use
; 386 code…
;
; And then there is the new FAT32 data structures where they
; have moved the volume label, FileSystem ID and serial
; number down to make room for some extended FAT32 variables…
; it sucks. Why not rearange the whole structure… An OS
; would not try to interpret the shit anyway, because
; the Partitioni Table SYSID has changed with FAT32.
;
; As I said… crazy mother f*cker…
;
; Well, well… here’s some of the stuff… with a mix of mine
; and sourcer’s comments…

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: win95 boot sector
Programming language: Assembly

/*
For some stupid reason that i don’t want to know, those alerts are ALWAYS returning the same sh*t under that sh*tty browser (Microsoft Internet Explorer 6), when i’m using element.getAttribute(‘foo’) i want to _GET_ THE F*CKING ‘foo’ _ATTRIBUTE_ of element NOT A STUPID CHILD named ‘foo’.
Thanks again lazy MSIE 6 developers!
*/

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Gekko
Programming language: JavaScript

// The documented way of returning a multi selection when
// the result buffer is to small doesn’t work. Well…
// At least, I can’t get it working….
// Pick up the information directly from the selection-
// dialog and return it in the same format as it is
// documented. I HATE WINDOWS! BILL GATES GO TO HM-HM!!!!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Kerberos Telnet
Programming language: C++

// Make sure stdin is in binary mode.
// (I hate Microsoft… I hate Microsoft… Everybody join in!)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: HTMLDOC
Programming language: C++

/**
 * NOTE! This is very dirty and dangerous trick. I spend
 * several hours on thinking and man pages browsing,
 * but couldn’t find better solution.
 * I know that I will spend 666 years in the Computer Hell
 * for writing this hack, and the master devil (Billy Boy)
 * will send me to write Windowz software.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: GNUstep Base Library
Programming language: C++