/*
 * This code is rather messy, but I don’t have time right
 * now to clean it up as much as I would like.
 * But it works, so I’m happy. :-) jpw
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: OpenBSD
Programming language: C

/* We changed phase but ESP shows bus service,
 * in this case it is most likely that we, the
 * hacker who has been up for 20hrs straight
 * staring at the screen, drowned in coffee
 * smelling like retched cigarette ashes
 * have miscoded something… so, try to
 * recover as best we can.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Linux Kernel
Programming language: C

/* FIXME: This algorithm sucks. I need to be shot for
 * writing such atrocious code. Grr. */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Flood – a profile-driven HTTP load tester
Programming language: C

/* Try to suicide with a SIGABRT */
[...]
/* Still here? Try to remove any signal handlers */
[...]
/* Still here? Try to suicide with an illegal instruction */
[...]
/* Still here? Try to at least exit */
[...]
/* Still here? We’re screwed. Sleepy time. Good night. */
  while (1)
    /* Try for ever and ever */
    ABORT_INSTRUCTION;

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: uClibc – a Small C Library for Linux
Programming language: C

# all this junk below just to conditionally load a module
# sometimes even perl is braindead…

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net-AIM
Programming language: Perl

Thanks to Mick for this code candy

// “Secret” keys…
int xor_secret_l = 0xFF;
int xor_secret_h = 0xFF;
// Wow, nobody will *EVER* crack this top secret code!

Software: From a “security” algorithm for an electronic control unit
Programming language: MSL

Thanks to Sebastian R. for this code candy

// the two salts for the password. I know it could be safer
// with random salts but for now it’s okay

Source: found in an old configuration file in third-party software
Programming language: PHP

/**
 * This function could be re-written to be more clean and
 * effective – yet it’s not that important.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: TYPO3
Programming language: PHP

// hello people in the future! I was doing OK until I found
// some red wine. Now I can’t figure stuff out, like, do I
// pass in this.axis, or do I make it a member of each
// PointBarBase? I don’t know. Hey, I know I’ll flip a coin
// and see what happens. It was heads. What does it mean?
// Mmmmm…. red wine….
// Fuck it, I’m passing it in. Makes the resize method messy,
// but keeps the PointBarBase clean.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: ofcgwt (Open Flash Chart for GWT)
Programming language: ActionScript

// Ok, cdRequest->status is bogus and never returns anything
// but 0100. This makes it completely useless for detecting
// when the song has completed. So, instead I’m just going
// to let them go for roughly 200 seconds and then the
// existing logic acts like the song has finished. This gets
// rid of the current stuttering music bug that exists even
// in the registered version. I’m sure I could have found a
// solution by reading up on Redbook Audio quicker than it
// took me to write this comment, but f*ck it.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Shadow Warrior
Programming language: C

# f*ck it. I don’t care how unreadable, unmaintainable, or
# otherwise shameful this is. i just want it done.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Fluidity
Programming language: Python

// actually i tested that those support single and double
// quotes. Yes, i really suck at regex, but it works. feel
// free to submit patches :)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: WordPress Lightbox 2 Plugin
Programming language: PHP

Thanks to Markus A. for this code candy:

// hack yadda yadda yadda < - improve you code instead of
// making funny comments!
// keep track of what is to be saved

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: AJAX Attribut Matrix for xtCommerce
Programming language: PHP

Thanks to Oliver T. for this code candy:

// PAYPAL INTERIM
// This is an interim solution to identify PayPal Orders!
// If this part still exists in one year, I quit!

2 and a half years later, the code still was there …

Thanks to Julius H. for this code candy

// Das folgende ist viel zu kompliziert AR 23.3.2003
// das muss aber so! JH 24.3.2003

/*
 * Damn, this function is so ugly, it’s a real pain. 19 args.
 * ARGH! But without it I had to copy two times this code,
 * and even if I choose to use a struct to pass all the args,
 * they are still too many and it will be uglier than this.
 * I’m sorry.
 * Ah, yes, this function splits the unpacked qspn_pkt and
 * returns a lot of vars. * DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME *
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Netsukuku
Programming language: C

BTW: today is Developers Shame Day

/* wow! if you’re executing this code, you may have set a
 * record. either this child process has served over
 * 2 billion requests, or you’re running a threaded 2.0 on
 * a 16 bit machine.
 *
 * I’ll buy pizza and beers at Apachecon for the first person
 * to do the former without cheating (dorking with
 * INT_MAX, or running with uncommitted performance patches,
 * for example).
 *
 * for the latter case, you probably deserve a beer too.
 * Greg Ames
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Apache-MPM
Programming language: C

// we figure out how many 3-tuples there are by incrementing
// This is kind of sketchy. But I can’t think right now. wtf?
// TODO: Make this suck less. Way, WAY less if possible.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: offsystem
Programming language: C#

; I know, it looks ugly and unsafe, but… Damn, this isn’t
; any f*ckin’ Kernel to be hugest code of the world!!!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: LED Device Controller
Programming language: Assembly

/* This is so horifically stupid…
 * however, I’m tired so f*ck it */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Pinger
Programming language: C++

;Look immediately after the device_name “PWORD15″ (8 bytes
;altogether), and you should see the hardcoded password.
;THIS is what makes this sucker “not so very secure.”
;So don’t tell the users!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Assembly

# The purpose of this function is to take a string and escape
# it so it survives being passed through the evil eval
# command without changing at all. (Did I mention I hate the
# eval command? :-) … I just realized I hate the list
# command too… :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Filerunner
Programming language: Shell

# Thanks to Abigail (abigail (at) fnx.com) for the idea for
# this clever bit. I’m sure it can be made more efficient,
# though. Any suggestions? I’m too tired right now to think
# of ‘em myself. :)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Net-IRC
Programming language: Perl

/* To be sure that the init array is received by the cam, we
   send it 3 times. Yes, i’m tired of crashing, when trying
   to get a stream from a uninitalized cam… We probably
   should make some fancy i2c stuff, but hey, if it ain’t
   broken don’t fix it ;)
   BTW. it’s broken! */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: SPCA5xx
Programming language: C

// getting hurt because of your own damn stupidity

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Doom
Programming language: C