# Son, when you participate in sporting events,
# it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how drunk you get.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl

# Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance,
# he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl

# How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,
# every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff
# out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking
# course, and I forgot how to drive?

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl

# Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies…

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl