I hate learning new windowing toolkits

# Man, I can’t tell you just how much I hate learning new
# windowing toolkits! Who the f*ck wants to learn fifty
# different ways of painting a window or button on-screen.
# Just give me one clean API that I could use everywhere
# and I’d be OK with that. But, no, nearly every damn
# developer out there has to write a new f*cking windowing
# toolkit with a different API from every other windowing
# toolkit out there. Just how many times do we have to
# reinvent this damn wheel???

Spanish inquisition

/** 
 * I confess: this is a hack. 
 * I didn’t expect the Spanish inquisition.
 */

Not for sale

/* Really do the RPM-management! This is probably the most
 * important part of this program! Want to rent this space
 * for commercials? No, just kidding! Not for sale! ;-) */

Yadda

/*
Yadda yadda disclaimer yadda probably not perfect yadda
well it’s okay anyway yadda yadda.
*/

OS-specific uglyness

/*
sorry about this piece of OS-specific uglyness. These were
pause triggers before the days of utilGetPidlist(), and are
now tacked on at the end of the guard list for
compatibility’s sake. Yes, they really are needed – I’ve seen
people curse these two till they were blue in the face, not
realizing what the heck it was that so crippled their
machines. Yeah, yeah. win9x stinks. :)
*/

Michael! What are you doing?

/*
Michael! What are you doing? You’re messing this all up!
Who the f*ck are you?
Your conscience! You can do better! I can do this way
cleaner. I know! This is just another terrible hack. Stop it!
Shhiiiiit, who cares? It’s too goddamn late you bastard. You
should have come up with that earlier. This game is down on
its knees already. Dying from hacks spreading like cancer…
*/

Time to time

// Once upon a time, two `array_map` calls were sitting there, 
// but for some reasons, they triggered `E_WARNING` 
// time to time (because of PHP bug [55416]
// (https://bugs.php.net/bug.php?id=55416). 
// Now, they are gone.

Count on crashes

/*
like there’s ever going to be wrap around with a 32-bit
unsigned int! how long would that take? Let’s see... even if
we somehow generated 100 packets per second, we’d need to
run for over 1 year, 4 months straight. I suspect this
client, or the machine it’s running on, will crash way way
way before then. Ah, windows. Being able to COUNT on crashes
is SUCH a lovely thing. F*ck, whatever.
*/

Fight Club

/* XXX: BIG BIG IMPORTANT FAT NOTE! :XXX
 *
 * The first rule of fight club is:
 *   You do not include ssl/ssl.h.
 *
 * The second rule of fight club is:
 *   You DO NOT include ssl/ssl.h.
 *
 * The third rule of fight club is:
 *   If you include util/error.h before ssl/ssl.h,
 *   the compilation is over!
 *
 * The fourth rule of fight club is:
 *   Only one inclusion of ssl/ssl.h at once.
 *
 * The fifth rule of fight club is:
 *   If you include ssl/ssl.h, it comes right after elinks.h.
 *
 * The sixth rule of fight club is:
 *   No ssl/ssl.h in other .h file, no complaints about
 *   the rules.
 *
 * The seventh rule of fight club is:
 *   The compilation will go as long as there is still
 *   something to compile.
 *
 * The eight, and final rule of fight club is:
 *   If this your first peek at this .h file, you
 *   HAVE TO COMPILE!
 *
 *   (Apologies to Chuck Palahniuk.) */

Steal my girlfriend

[...]
* and a HUGE TWICE THE SIZE OF SOLDIER’S F*CK TO AMM F*CK YOU
* to Bill Robbins for trying to steal my girlfriend. Not only
* did you show me no respect but you’re a manipulating
* prick who tried to take away the most important thing in
* the world to me with no guilt whatsoever, and for that I
* wish you nothing but pain. Die.
[...]
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