Sorry to the developers

# don’t blame me if this is wrong! It took me quite a while
# to find in st**id tcsh docs *grrr*
# (insert “sorry-to-the-developers” here).
[…]

A rewrite from scratch

/*
Originally this was a hacked version of shout.
Then, I wrote it in perl, the music kept breaking up on pauses
Then, I wrote it in C, the music kept breaking up on pauses
Then, I wrote another one in C using shared memory between two processes.
It worked.
Then, I discovered what happens when you run out of shared memory keys
Then, I ran fsck and pressed ‘y’ lots.
Shit.
Started again in C, same idea.
Shared memory became unwieldy.
This is a rewrite from scratch using pipes between processes.
I am pissed off.
*/

Self censorship

// we like profanity in open source software, please read the
// following words carefully:
// f**k, p*ssy, d*ck, sp**m, motherf**ker
//
// hope our source code will now be censored by all
// governments that s**k.

MS Bob is a virgin

# gnat: no f*cking microsoft products, thanks :)
# ^Pudge: what about non-f*cking MS products? 
# i hear MS Bob is a virgin.

Sometimes just praying helps

/***********************************************************
* And so I saw the wicked buried, who had come and gone from
* the place of the holy, and they were forgotten in the city
* where they had so done: this is also vanity. (Eccl 8:10)
*/

Better solution

# tolerate Silly Billy’s file system conventions
my $provider = Template::Provider->new({
DELIMITER => ‘ ‘,
INCLUDE_PATH => ‘C:/HERE/NOW D:/THERE/THEN’,
});
# better solution: install Linux! :-)

A very dirty and dangerous trick

/**
 * NOTE! This is very dirty and dangerous trick. I spend
 * several hours on thinking and man pages browsing,
 * but couldn’t find better solution.
 * I know that I will spend 666 years in the Computer Hell
 * for writing this hack, and the master devil (Billy Boy)
 * will send me to write Windowz software.
 */

Say goodbye to the webserver

/*
  newlocation must now be the absolute path on newhost.
  If not we’ve been redirected to somewhere totally stupid
  (oh yeah, no offsite linking, go to our f*cking front page).
  Say goodbye to the webserver in this case. In fact, we don’t
  even say goodbye, but just drop the connection.
*/

We are in trouble

// Ok, If we’ve gotten here, we’re in trouble...

No Donut for You!

# Whoops, the admin left the field blank, bad admin,
# no donut.  Pick a time far enough in the future that
# it gives the admin time to correct the mistake.
# Twenty minutes should be enough.
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